Sunday, 23 July 2017

It's not working - you're still wobbly!

Children are THE best motivators when it comes to dieting.

After months (years) of procrastinating I started the Cambridge weight loss plan last Wednesday.

It's been four years since the last sprog popped out and I can honestly say I've been congratulated on my happy news three times already this's time to get rid of the <ahem> mummy tummy drum!

The cwp for those not of the crazy diet persuasion is a very very focussed and structured diet inwhich at the initial stage consists of three meals a day in packet form. All the 'meals' are approx 200 calories each and contain approx 33% of your recommended daily nutrients - soup, shake, smoothie, a few slightly nicer chewy bars and a couple of pasta/rice dishes - and you stop all cravings and icky symptoms by drinking a shit ton of water!

You have a one to one cwp 'mentor' who provides your weekly goody bag - mine conviniently happens to be a friend who has recently lost three and a half stone so is an absolute inspiration!
She is there for me to message whenever I feel the need for support and knowing you are answerable to somebody each week is a real  motivator (that and the £50 a week price tag - I forgot to hide the receipt from the other half! Damnit!)

Five days in and I'm not feeling too shoddy - I have been very strict and not cheated at all even though I've been struggling with a migraine for two days which usually sends me straight to the larder!

The shakes, smoothies and porridge are a shock as they are very very sweet but I guess it stops cravings for sweet food so it works! I am of the old school salt in porridge and nowt else  so the cwp version reminds me of sugary ready brek which brings back happy memories of childhood breakfasts!

My first weigh in is tomorrow despite only being five days in as Monday is a good day for me to meet with my lovely skinny mentor. I am dreading standing on the scales in case I don't achieve as much as I hope. Reading other people's stories is so inspirational but you get drawn it to ones who have lost the most - I only have three stone to lose so I guess a 19lb drop in my first week would be pushing it a touch!!!

The husband is trying to be supportive but is failing as he's far too nice - darling I love you just the way you are - is NOT motivational it just makes me think fuck it I just have a slab of cake followed by a g&t.

The children, however, are marvellous - running into our room this morning...throwing the duvet back and staring at my stomach they both go hands on with the tummy drumming - a quizzical look at my healthy breakfast and a look back to the ripples still flowing from the last drum strike ...

It's not working mummy - you're still wobbly!.....

Thursday, 12 May 2016

A woodlouse by any other name...

In the garden this evening Meredith befriended a woodlouse.

It crawled inside her sleeve.

She looked into the end of her sleeve and said...

'Dave! Dave! Are you in there?'

'Dave Meredith?'

'Yes Mummy, Dave.'

Thursday, 5 May 2016

In a dark, dark house

Creeping, silently, like a ninja.

In the dark, quiet, of night suddenly an eerie whisper,

'Daddy, DADDY!

I've lost my pillow...'


A rose by any other name

Meredith had a little headache when she went to bed last night so I gave her some calpol.

Waking up this morning the first thing she asked for was more medicine.

Mummy, there's a girl in my class called Medicine.

Pause - racks brain.

Maddison, Meredith, there's a girl in your class called Maddison.

Sleep is for wimps!

Heathcliff woke up about an hour ago screaming.

I went in and he was straight up and into my arms mumbling 'Mummy Daddy bedroom, I 'cared of my 'reams'

Because I am a softy he came in to our room for cuddles.

I have since been thwacked around the face three times and berated with the words...

'Mummy, 'top 'noring. I tryin' go 'leep now!'

He is now back in his own room.

He is asleep....

...I'm not...

Thursday, 3 March 2016

Epic Parenting Fail of the Day.

I was standing in the playground this morning chatting when suddenly H sort of splattered face down right in front of me and behind a group of mums and teachers.

Every single person there turned round and instinctively bent down towards him.

Except me.

I laughed.

I am not a good parent...

Wednesday, 2 March 2016

Like Father, Like Son

This morning, snuggled up in bed with H I asked if he'd like a cuddle.

He reversed into me and said 'mummy, cuddle bottom'

I cuddled his bottom.

Cue the worlds biggest trump right in my face and lots of giggling from the child.

He quite obviously gets his sense of  humour from his father...